Descending
by withabluepen
Summary: Nine broken souls share a little of what is hidden in their heart. But, losing him may have widened the gap larger than expected. Although only scars remain, it still throbs from sorrow. Various POVs. No pairings.
1. King of the Court

**Hello, my friends (Well, technically, you aren't all my friends... buuut, let's just pretend you all are)! This is my first fanfiction, and I hope you will enjoy it with your heart's content!**

**Just saying, the story is a bit based off of the manga, but it essentially takes place in an alternate universe. **

**:)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. The manga, Haikyu!, belongs to to Furudate Haruichi and always will.**

* * *

_~Kageyama Tobio~_

The shining floor, painted in various colors. The net, towering over me, an obstacle I must overcome. The green, orange, and white ball, ricocheting off the players in different directions at a high speed. The cheers and screams of the spectators. The harsh breathing, the pondering heat.

Most of all, the exhilaration.

The volleyball court is my domain. It is the place where I am at my best. It is the place where I would have the most fun.

It is a place that would make me think,

_I'm alive._

But in order to enjoy volleyball, for a setter, the spiker had to spike their toss and earn a point.

So why couldn't anyone else be good enough to hit my tosses?

"Faster! Quicker!" I would command, persisting them to keep up, a unpleasant expression plastered on my face. The only way for them to hit my tosses is by moving faster. They would glare at me, as I have done something wrong. But I was playing correctly! It was them who were at fault!

They were the ones who couldn't play properly!

But from that game, I realized the truth. The bitter reality. The moment when I passed the ball behind and there was nobody to spike it. The ball emitted a dull thud as it made contact with the floor.

I had been playing alone. Just like a tyrant king, ruling over a kingdom that rejected him.

My head was swirling with emotions. I barely heard the coach call me onto the bench.

_"Kageyama, sit down already."_

But when he did, I just turned and stared at him with dead eyes. All I could see was his scowl, directed towards me. My feet felt so heavy, as if someone had hidden weights in my shoes.

It was probably the shame.

A towel draped over my head, shadowing my face. I clasped my hands together and rested my arms on my knees. For some reason, the supportive yells and shouts from the audience no longer sounded so encouraging. I clenched my teeth as the yells slowly seemed to melt into taunting.

_Thank goodness he's off the court._

_It's about time that they took him off._

_Wow, he makes such a good teammate. _

I bit my lip hard, tasting the metallic flavor of blood. Who would've thought that just the simple act of sitting on a bench could be so painful.

The urge to be back on the court was tremendous.

In the end, we lost, which marked the end of my middle school volleyball career.

* * *

I failed to pass the entrance examination to Shiratorizawa Academy.

I didn't understand. I thought my skills would be valuable to the top school in the Miyagi Prefecture.

So I tried Karasuno. I had heard about the infamous Coach Ukai that coached there kept fierce crows as pets. Surely, with his teachings, I wouldn't have to suffer the same fate as I did in Kitagawa Daiichi.

_"You! Why are you here?!"_

Ah. Him.

I don't remember his name, but I remembered him.

He had a really high jump. It was hard to tell, since he had such a short stature.

When he jumped, it was as if he just sprouted wings from his back and flew into the air. At first sight, it took my breath away.

I faced him in the a game before. I recalled that one moment when I pointed at him and said, with great force, that he had taken a point from us. I wasn't exactly afraid that I was going to lose that time, but I was astonished that he managed to pull it off.

He, who now I know is named Hinata Shouyou, and I disputed multiple times on a daily basis. But on the court, we were the "oddball" combo, a force to be reckoned with.

Hinata was the one that made me realize that I had been wrong, and the reason for all the glares and scowls directed towards me in my earlier years. That it wasn't making the spiker try to hit my tosses, but for the setter to adjust and make a toss that's best for the spiker.

The more time I spent in Karasuno, the more I changed. I had left the past and moved on.

The tyrannical king was no more.

* * *

Volleyball is my expertise, but academics certainly weren't. It seemed that Hinata also struggled in school, so we would usually end up studying together. We would ask that bastard Tsukishima to help us, but he would just smirk at us, knowing that he was superior when it came to school.

I was very ashamed and humiliated to have to actually beg Tsukishima for help, but it paid off.

We were scheduled to have a match with Nekoma right after the exams, and I was determined not to fail.

But I still did.

Of course, Hinata also flunked, along with me.

I didn't want to admit it, but we were seriously idiots beyond repair.

We still made it to the match, thanks to Tanaka-san's sister.

* * *

It happened in the semifinals of the spring tournament.

We were against Nekoma, and having the epic "Battle of the Trash Heap" that hadn't happened since the golden age of Karasuno.

25 to 24. We were in the lead. Just one more point, and we would be advancing to the finals.

I decided to use the classic inhuman toss that was developed when Hinata and I first met each other. I breathed, concentrating.

Hinata jumped, soaring through the air as fast as the wind. I aimed, tossing the ball.

A sickening thud. A crash.

Hinata fell to the floor. I heard a gasp ripple through the spectators. There was a brief moment of silence.

It took me a few second to process what was happening.

Hinata didn't hit the toss?

Did accidentally make the wrong toss or something?

There was a loud tweet as the referee raised the flag to signal that the game was to stop immediately. Daichi-san rushed to Hinata, checking for any broken bones.

Hinata just laid on the ground in a crumpled heap, not saying a word. He seemed to be groaning, and he grabbing his chest.

I knew something wasn't right.

"Hinata!" I cried out, and ran to his side. He shouldn't be suffering from any heavy injuries, considering the fact that he only got hit by the ball in the face and fell to the ground. Hinata had fell like that many times before, and he was okay. He usually just got up and grinned like an idiot.

But he didn't this time.

I could hear Takeda-sensei stuttering in panic, his face turning pale. Ukai-san grabbed his phone and flipped it open, dialing the emergency number to call for an ambulance.

* * *

**And that's the first chapter!**

**I'll probably have another chapter with Kageyama's POV, but that'll be later.**

**Your reviews will be greatly appreciated.**


	2. Glasses

**Here's the second chapter!**

**Just to make a point, I'm not that good that writing from Kei's prospective, so yeah.**

**Just don't throw up when you read this XD**

**On a second note, thank you FujoShizaya and Kagari Higuchi for following and hopeforhijack and a-scarlet-scarf for reviewing. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tsukishima, although I really wish I did ;_;**

* * *

~_Tsukishima Kei_~

_How could you?_

_How could you lie to me?_

_I trusted you._

_I actually believed you._

_"Pathetic."_

_For a moment, everything stood still._

_It's only you and me now, in this crowd of people._

_Your horrified look, my betrayed feelings._

_I laughed._

_You actually had me fooled there._

_You gaze up at me, guilty. You can't move since your feet seemed to be paralyzed._

_From what? My realization, or yours?_

_It looks like you've been found out._

_Now what?_

"Nii-san?"

_How can I trust you now?_

"K-Kei?"

* * *

"Pathetic."

That was the first exchange I had with Yamaguchi.

Those bullies were really pathetic, though.

What's the point of bullying someone, anyway?

To take your anger out? Because they are a nuisance?

Bullying doesn't do anything.

You need to be part of their heart, and then break them.

That's how you hurt someone.

Sticks and stones may break bones, but it's words that hurt the most.

Since words never go away. They're eternal.

Forever haunting you. Prodding you in the back.

It's frightening.

You can't run away.

* * *

I thought you were amazing.

You were the ace, the best player on the team.

_You were one with the stands. Not even worthy of the bench._

You were the one that I looked up to. The person I wanted to be when I grew up.

_You are the one I despise the most. The person I swore I would never become._

Unfortunately for you, I've figured it out.

You are a lie.

...

_How could I have been so stupid?_

* * *

What am I doing?

Did I unconsciously come to the gym?

Did I want to play volleyball?

Yes, I do.

Do you really?

_I guess not._

I mean, there was nothing that I really loved about volleyball. Receives hurt, blocks were painful, and spikes weren't really my expertise. I could've done basketball or soccer.

So why did I choose volleyball?

Could it have been because of him?

* * *

I didn't have enough resolve. I knew that.

I never had any in the first place.

"And that's when you get hooked to volleyball."

Bokuto-san promised that one day, I would get attached to volleyball.

That one day, when I find what I need, I will love the sport as much as everyone else.

"Motivation? What do you need more than pride?!"

Yamaguchi once grabbed my shirt, yelling those exact words right in my face.

Something clicked the moment those words landed.

That's right.

Why was I still continuing to play? To fight?

I wasn't lacking motivation.

I simply didn't realize that my pride was at stake.

* * *

I knew that I could never be as good as him.

No matter how much effort I put in.

I couldn't jump as high as Hinata, although that didn't really matter that much, since I had the height.

Maybe I could block better, but there was one thing that Hinata had that I lacked.

What is it?

I could never shine as bright as him.

He was the sun and I was the moon.

I only stand out when there is darkness.

He is noticeable in all conditions.

Even though he was shorter than me, he seemed to stand higher than I did.

To be brief, I was overshadowed by Hinata.

My chest prickles to be reminded that I'm not good enough.

* * *

I was standing behind him when everything fell apart.

We were at a crucial part of our game, and something just went wrong.

Before I knew it, Hinata was lying on the ground, grabbing his chest area and scrunching up his face, as if he were in pain.

He also seemed to have difficulty breathing.

Was it a sickness?

There are various diseases that include symptoms such as chest pain and breathing difficulties.

Let me hope for the best that it's not what I fear it to be.

I would never really say this out loud, but,

I was really worried.

Would he be okay?

Hinata seemed to be invincible, but now all I could see was a small boy being tortured by pain.

* * *

I knew that my hopes were too good to be true.

* * *

**Aaaannnnndddd cut!**

**(I know, we're not shooting a movie)**

**XD**

**Please review or read or do whatever you want and have a nice day/night/IDK.**

**Then there will be those few people that be like:**

**"Don't tell me what to do!"**

***Sigh***


	3. Villager B

**I apologize for the dullness of the previous chapter. Since, you know, I'm kind of a sucky writer.**

**Ehehehehehe...**

**Disclaimer: None of the characters mentioned in the following belong to me.**

* * *

~_Hitoka Yachi_~

All I wanted to do was impress you. To make you feel proud. For you to be glad that you had a daughter like me. I just wanted to live up to your expectations.

But, everytime I try to reach higher, your words seem to push me down back to where I started.

I'm trying, you know. I've done what you asked me to.

So why won't you acknowledge me?

* * *

I had a mom who never seemed to love me and a dad who was never there. I mostly blame Dad, since he was never home to help Mom cope through stressful times. He wasn't there when we needed him.

What a good father he made.

I loved him so much.

So much.

Yeah, right.

Sure, he had meetings to attend and work to finish, but was that really more important than your precious family?

The family that loved you dearly and waited for you to come home safely?

Did a bunch of strangers and a few scraps of paper really have more value than your beloved ones?

Sometimes I don't get how adults can't understand the pain of loneliness.

When I was younger, I sometimes quietly crept into my mom's room to look at her stuff. I was curious, after all.

Only unwritten letters, broken pens, and makeup were to be found.

_Dad, please come home. Please, I'm begging you._

Mom's falling apart without you here.

Cooped up in a partially closed space, my room was my safe haven and escape from life. Who cared about the world around me if nobody cared?

I could just stay here forever, without a care.

Yes, to also hide my tears from onlookers.

An empty chasm opened up in front of me. I fell in, landing with a loud thump.

The impact pains me.

But what hurt most was that no one was going to come and pull me up. No one.

Would I need to wait for eternity?

* * *

_"Mommy! Guess what?"_

_"Hn."_

_"Yachi got full marks on the chemistry quiz!"_

_"Mmm."_

_"Are you proud of Yachi, Mommy?"_

_She slapped the wooden table, and irritated expression depicted on her face._

_"Can't you just be quiet, Hitoka?! Can't you see that I'm trying to do something here?!" She spit out, clearly annoyed._

_"O-okay, Mommy. Y-Yachi won't bother you anymore."_

_"Now, shoo! I've got more important things to do right now than listen to your squabbling!" She snapped with finality._

From that point on, I knew that if I was arrogant and insolent, I would only receive negativity.

So I became meek and docile, knowing that if I spoke up, nothing good would happen.

Sometimes you just have to keep your mouth shut and go with the flow.

Not matter how much things didn't go the way you wanted them to.

* * *

When I was in a play, I was usually a minor character.

Villager B. A tree. Sometimes a log, for heaven's sake.

I was fine with that, since I didn't want to draw too much attention to myself.

I wasn't exactly special or exceptional in any way. I wasn't really needed.

The directors of the play just wanted someone to stand there and be part of the background, so that way the scene looked more natural. It was understandable.

Understandable. Very.

But why do warm droplets of water wet my face if I understand?

Easy to understand, but not really easy to accept.

A wound that never existed now stings so much, the pain is unbearable.

No matter how much I grit my teeth, the pain won't go away.

I know I'm not worth much, so there's so point in rubbing it in my face.

_Do you know how much it intensifies the suffering?_

* * *

Around high school, things got better. Mom stopped lying in bed so much, Dad came home more often, and our family was reformed into a better one. One with a proper father and a non-despairing mother.

Happy times.

Mom still had the strict attitude. I knew that she loved me, but sometimes it was still hard to approach her.

Karasuno was my saving grace.

I didn't really know the reason why wanted to choose Karasuno. Maybe it was because it was near my house and also not a really bad high school? Yeah, that's probably it.

Well, I don't regret choosing Karasuno.

I met many good people there, some which have changed my world entirely.

* * *

Hinata dragged me to my house. At first, I could could comprehend is that we were going at a very fast speed.  
So fast that if I even stumbled a bit, I would be dragged along instead of slowing him down.

I knew that I wanted to do this, but I was still slightly reluctant. Then I thought that Hinata actually bothered to force me to talk to my mother.

It felt nice to have someone behind your back to push you forward.

"Villager B can fight too!" I screeched on the top of my lungs, earning a couple stares.

That felt nice, just to let it go for once.

The pressure on my body seemed be lifted. All my worries, concerns, and insecurities seemed to just dissipate.

All of a sudden, I felt that I could just fly up into the air and touch the sky.

Thank you, Hinata.

Thank you for giving me wings and the courage to take flight.

Thank you.

To have Mom on my side for the first time was surely one of the greatest moments of my life.

* * *

I could hear the sirens of the ambulance as it approached the gymnasium. The loud clattering of the crate as it was frantically rolled onto the shiny floor. The shouting of the doctors as they surrounded Hinata. I was just close enough to see Hinata twitching in pain.

Oh no.

He fell unconscious as they reeled him away.

Most of the audience had already left, most concerned that they would be in the way of the doctors and nurses. Now all were left were Karasuno's and Nekoma's volleyball teams.

"Is he going to be okay?!" I cried out, breaking the tension. Captain stared at the ground, as if not sure what to say.

"All we can say is that Hinata's in some unknown medical condition." When he saw all our terrified faces, he tried to assure us. "It could have been that he passed out from getting hit by Kageyama's toss, so don't sweat on it, guys."

Captain smiled his captain smile, which relieved some of us.

But not me.

Based on what just happened, it wasn't anything as simple as that.

I suspected that Sawamura-san knew that too, but he said all of that so nobody would start freaking out.

The situation at hand was uncertain until we received news from the hospital.

I gazed worriedly at the departing ambulance.

I really hoped he would be alright.

It couldn't be anything major, right?

* * *

Why did I have to be so precise sometimes?

* * *

**I realize that Yachi-chan is a bit OOC in this chapter, but I like her past this way.**

**So yeah...**

**I'm considering for the next chapter will be on Sugawara, but that's what I'm thinking right now...**

**I might change my mind.**

**Oh whale.**

**Best regards from withabluepen.**


	4. Smile

**Hi, people of the Internet!**

**I hope that you will enjoy this update.**

**:)**

**Many thanks to Kiara Kazami, NNeko, and vanillarara for following!**

**Disclaimer: As you already know, none of the characters mentioned below have my name on them. So, therefore, I obviously don't own them.**

* * *

_~Sugawara Koushi~_

_"Live life like you mean it, Kou-chan. Even if it is a bad day, just smile and eventually the gloominess will melt away."_

_But Nee-chan..._

_It's really hard to smile when I only feel like scrunching my face up and crying._

_"Sometimes, when you smile, even if it isn't genuine, it will lighten the mood. That way, everyone will be happier."_

_Is that true, Nee-chan? So, I should smile more! That way, happiness will reach out to everyone._

_..._

_Hey, Nee-chan? It's getting really hard to smile in front of you._

_I try to grin as I sit in an aisle, but the smile is always forced down by my emotions. Those sad, sad eyes glance at me every once in a while. _

_When I did force out a small smile, only horrified faces greeted me._

_"How is that child smiling?"_

_"He almost looks crazy!"_

_"What a disgrace to his sister, smiling while at her funeral!"_

_Nee-chan?_

_Didn't you say that smiling makes everyone happy?_

_All I wanted to do was make all these sad faces in the room turn into happy ones._

_Nee-chan, please stop pretending and help me please._

_I don't know what I should do. How do I solve this problem?_

_Nee-chan..._

_I know that no matter how many times I cry, you won't come back._

_Ever._

_I miss you, Nee-chan. _

_I really don't know what to do._

_So I reassured myself that you might come back if I prayed hard enough._

_But at night, cried myself to sleep, knowing that regardless of what I do, my hopes won't ever come true._

_The deceased don't come back._

_It really hurts._

* * *

I remember watching a volleyball game in my third year of middle school.

The dazzling lights, the shouts of the players.

When the team that was wearing black won, I could just see their joyful faces, grinning like there was no tomorrow.

They looked so happy.

It was just a game, wasn't it?

Despite my remarks, I was a little envious of them. I really wanted to share my happiness like that. To smile without a care for the world, only for the fact that my team and I had defeated the rival team.

Could I be one of them, someday?

* * *

Asahi. Please come back.

The dull sound of the volleyball hitting the palm of the opponent's hand.

Blocked out. Again.

The pummeling of my stomach confirmed that the spark in our Ace had left him.

Now all there was is a empty soul, after being beat down so many times, refusing to continue.

I wanted to say something, to bring his spirits up. But I had nothing to say.

All I had was silence.

I blamed myself for the loss. For the absence of Asahi since the game.

If I had only been a better setter! If only I could have said something to cheer him up!

The happiness of others was difficult to obtain.

The agony of not being able to help someone was excruciating.

* * *

I was fine with Coach Ukai's decision. Kageyama would play setter.

_It's fine._

But, lying underneath those words were a tint of regret.

It would've been nice it I could still play.

Being overthrown by a first year was just so, shameful.

I had practiced so hard for this position, only for it to be taken away by someone else.

I want to be on the court with my teammates. Playing. Battling.

It's hard to stay seated on the bench.

It feels so lonely.

But, if it is for the good of the team, I will do anything.

Even if it means sacrificing my pride.

* * *

As we made our way back to Karasuno, after the match was stopped when Hinata had his sudden phase, the tension in the air made it hard to breathe.

Of course, I was contributing to the tension, since my worries kept on piling up. Was Hinata going to be okay? When can we go visit him?

The serious faces around me stopped my worries from spilling all out. It seemed that everyone was concerned for what happened to Hinata.

But worries don't help at all. In the end, it's all up to Hinata.

But I still worried, despite knowing that.

The sad faces around me needed to cease, or else it would be a bad omen to Hinata.

The sucked in my breath, buffed up my courage, and let out a huge smile.

"Hey guys, don't worry about it, okay? I'm sure that Hinata will be fine! If you visit him in the hospital with those faces, you'll probably just make him feel worse. So, cheer up!" I exclaimed, almost grinning my face off.

That seemed to do the trick.

Nishinoya immediately turned to me, looking at me with sparkling eyes, his frown already gone, as if it had never been there in the first place.

"Suga-san's right! After all, what could a little injury do to Hinata? Ya guys have faith in Hinata, don't cha?" He beamed at us, expecting a reply.

Slowly, and gradually, the mood became better, and everyone was chatting with each other. The weather was nice out.

Although Nishinoya had made it better, my worries hadn't purged yet. I was still cautious and prepared for what might happen.

* * *

It was the calm before the storm.

* * *

**As you guys (and gals) have probably noticed, I made up Sugawara's past.**

**I sincerely apologize for it if you weren't pleased with it. *bows***

**Best wishes from withabluepen.**


	5. Captain

**Hello, fellow fanfiction readers, Haikyu fans, etc.**

**Welcome to the fifth chapter of Descending.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: None of the characters mentioned below belong to me.**

* * *

_~Sawamura Daichi~_

"Hey, why is she still in the operating room?"

I remember the doctor's unwilling face, as if he was reluctant to tell me something. But, just by judging the look of pity on his face, he didn't have any good news.

"Your mother is diagnosed with leukemia. At this stage, she cannot be cured. It is already too late."

A stone dropped in my stomach.

But, I didn't feel that sad. My mom and I never had a good relationship with each other. She was a drug addict, and always bringing strange men home to our house each day.

It would be better without her.

"Oh, I see."

That was all I said to the doctor before leaving. He looked at me, surprised, and a little concerned, for he had not received the regular response he usually got from relatives of the victim.

My footsteps echoed loudly through the main lobby of the hospital.

I kept a poker face as I walked back to my house, which wasn't far away.

Who cared if she died anyway?

...

She passed away on a Tuesday, at roughly 8:30 p.m.

It was a quiet death, they said. No cries, no muttering, no complaining.

She went to sleep, and just, died.

I stood by the bead that she once occupied, staring at it for no apparent reason.

She was gone.

Finally.

I wouldn't have to deal with drugs lying around on the floor. Picking up mystery objects on the ground. Having awkward encounters with strangers.

Everything was going to be better. A life free of stupid people and annoying mothers.

All better.

I buried my head into my pillow, suffocating myself.

But I didn't care if I couldn't breathe.

I can still recall the old days, when Mom was fine and drug-free.

Those were fun, warm times.

I can't even remember when all of that fell apart. Was our bond that fragile?

Was it really so easy to break?

If a bond like that could be so easily broken, everything in the world, now, felt superficial.

...

I didn't miss her.

_I really miss you, Mom._

Who cared if she was gone?

_Why can't you come back to me?_

It's a better life without you.

_I never thought life would be this hard without you._

I hate you.

_I love you._

Have I been lying to myself this whole time?

Just blurring my real feelings? Denying what I really felt?

I missed her so badly. But I was supposed to be happy. Happy that I didn't have to deal with her anymore.

So why won't my lips curl up? Why won't I feel the energizing and fluttering emotion of happiness?

Why to warm tears trickle down my face? I'm suddenly sobbing loudly, out of control.

My body feels so cold. My arms, legs, everything is tired.

My soul is weary.

There's a pressure in my heart. I don't know what it is.

Was losing her really this painful?

...

You only realize how precious something is until it's out of your reach.

...

A letter arrived to my doorstep the next day. There was nothing written on the envelope, so I wasn't even sure if it was supposed to be mine or not.

But I opened it anyway.

_Dear Daichi,_

_I know when you see this, I'll probably already be dead. It's sad, isn't it? Mother Nature is really cruel sometimes. Daichi, I know you hate me right now, and I want to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for ignoring you, and not acting like a proper mother. I thought that if I got out of the hospital, we could reconcile and reestablish the connection we had in the past. I guess it's too late now. Even now, I can't express how sorry I am for neglecting you, taking drugs, and bringing men home. I have betrayed you and your father and I think that salvation should be brought upon me._

_I'm sorry, Daichi._

_I love_

_..._

The letter just ended there. The wording didn't seem to be complete.

She probably died when she was in the middle of writing the letter.

It wasn't a big deal, but that one cut-off sentence reminded me of how sudden death was. How real reality was.

It wasn't like in TV shows or cartoons, where the person delivers a heartwarming and sad dying message and then lays their head down, making their way to heaven.

No. Real life wasn't like that.

It's awkward and sporadic. Sometimes it just cuts you off at random times. Like what happened to my mom.

Wet spots blossomed on the paper, making the ink seem darker.

Mom. Mom.

Mom.

I cried out, letting all my regret pour out of me.

We could've made it. If she had survived, she would have come home, and try to restore our connection. It might have worked. We might have been able to return to the old times.

But now, it was too late. The chance was gone.

I couldn't get it back.

Why did cancer take her so early? Why did she have to die? Did she deserve this?

Why was the world always against me?

I raised my head, staring at the sky.

_I did nothing to you,_ I said to the heavens, _so why do you do this to me?_

_Do I deserve this?_

* * *

Volleyball was my escape. As long as I was playing volleyball, I could forget about what happened and live my life.

I'm sure that my mom would have wanted me to be happy.

So I put in all my effort to the sport.

I'm doing this for you, Mom.

* * *

Despite the confidence in my voice and the reassuring words I said, I was getting shaky on the inside.

Would it be like my mom too?

No, I couldn't think pessimistically.

What if it was...

No! Shut up!

I'm getting too paranoid.

I just had to believe in Hinata.

The next day, there was news about his condition.

It was just a light pneumonia. Everything was going to be okay.

Just a few days before Hinata would be out of the hospital.

I waited for our young crow to heal and return.

* * *

I waited for forever.

* * *

**The end. **

**Of the chapter.**

**I got you there for a moment, didn't I?**

**No? Okay... Yeah...**

**Sorry. That was a bad joke. So bad it can't even be considered one.**

**XD**

**If anyone noticed, the letter was a bit based off AIA from the Fault in Our Stars, where in the end of AIA, it's just a cut-off sentence left by the girl MC.**

**Yeah...**

***crying and sobbing in the corner***

**The Fault in Our stars was good.**

**Best wishes from withabluepen.**


	6. Guardian Deity

**I apologize for the late update. Gomen.**

**:(**

**I've been a bit busy for the past few days, so I didn't get a chance to write.**

**But now I can!**

**XD**

**My humor sucks. (Actually, my comments don't even make any sense, since technically I wasn't even joking...)**

**Cookies to Beautiful Rain Droplet, Nakamura Arashi, and aznbunnie for following, SullyWullybunny and Nakamura Arashi for the favorites, and Nakamura Arashi and Beautiful Rain Droplet for reviewing.**

**Honestly guys, I'm so touched by all the kindness from all of you. ;_;**

**I can't stop crying. XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't Haikyu. Period.**

* * *

_~Nishinoya Yuu~_

_Cuts and bruises. Red spots and butterflies flying around my head._

_I cried for them to stop, but they just kept on beating me. Hurting me._

_Why can't they listen to me?_

* * *

I was usually that annoying, really optimistic guy that you have in your typical classroom. Although I was popular, it was only because people were always irritated at me.

People often bullied me for being annoying. Also because I was small, they thought that I would be an easy target.

It wasn't that hard to beat me up, considering the fact that I was short, and didn't really have any physical abilities.

I always received a beating before I got home.

I lived with Grandpa, since my parents passed away in a car crash when I was young.

He would ask me about my scars and injuries, but I would just smile and assure him that everything was okay.

I could deal with this on my own.

...

I was only lying to myself.

I couldn't do anything about it. I can't make the bullies stop. Even if I tell them to, they don't listen.

I came home one day, more hurt than usual, because today one of the bullies decided that using a baseball bat to hit me like a baseball would be entertaining.

I decided that I was fed up with it. The taunts. The mocking laughter. The sneers.

I went to find Grandpa, who was playing volleyball in the backyard.

I watched him hit the ball with great force and thought, _"Maybe if I had that strength to fight back, I could make them stop!"_

I approached him and asked for him to teach me. At first, Grandpa looked at me with astonished eyes, since I never asked him for such a request.

He gladly agreed, and so, started my career of volleyball.

Grandpa figured out why I wanted to play volleyball, and constantly reminded me that I couldn't go overboard. To stop before blood stained my hands.

I was short, and not very fit to be a spiker or blocker.

And so, Grandpa taught me to be a libero. Liberos could be played by people of any height, and it was a cool role.

Grandpa was also once a libero, too. Because of that, he was strict and never let me slack off.

As I practiced more and more, I slowly built up strength and became strong enough to defend myself against those bullies.

They were beaten by me numerous times, but they just wouldn't give up.

One day, they went too far.

_The moonlight shone on the path, lightening the ground, making it easier to see. Only the sound of crickets chirping could be heard._

I had decided to take a summer night walk, since it was cool and I wasn't very drowsy.

The night was beautiful, for sure. I had never seen anything like it.

_When I made my way back to Grandpa's house, I smelled the putrid odor of smoke. It was faint, but evident._

I thought that somebody was having a late cookout, so I ignored it.

_I got closer to the house, and saw many people scrambling around, carrying buckets of water and blankets. Screams and yells could be heard._

What happened?

_I got closer, and saw that some houses were on fire._

_Including Grandpa's._

_I froze for a moment._

_My mind felt like molasses, slowly churning._

_Grandpa was still sleeping though._

_Did he get out?_

I panicked. I didn't know what to do.

_I ran closer, yelling for my Grandpa. I needed to know if he was in there. But, before I could get closer, I was pulled back by one of my neighbors, telling me to stay away and avoid the flames._

_"Grandpa!" I cried desperately, struggling to escape my neighbor's grip. But he was too strong. Slowly, I succumbed and went away from the fire._

I regret not going back. If I went back, then I would've gone with Grandpa.

Well, at least I won't need to feel this miserable.

_The next day, all was left was charred ground and burnt houses. There were men, women, and children standing outside the houses, mourning over the loss._

_I went over to where Grandpa's house was, sitting right in front of the unrecognizable front door._

Grandpa was gone.

My only family was gone. Dead.

I was left with nothing.

I went to school that day, hollow.

Wandering the halls, with pitiful eyes directed towards me. Classmates told me that they were sorry for my loss. That they feel bad for me.

Lies.

You don't feel sorry for me. You don't even care.

Don't talk to me. I don't need your pity. Your meaningless words of comfort and worry.

Stop it.

...

I heard whispering from a corner of the hallway as I exited the school. I stayed behind, waiting for everyone to leave so I wouldn't have to be bombarded with questions all the way home.

I laughed at my silly mistake. I had no home to go to.

Not anymore.

I decided that since I had so much free time, I would eavesdrop on the people that were whispering. It wouldn't do any harm, would it?

I slowly crept up to them, making sure that I made no sound as I approached them.

As I got closer, I realized them to be the bullies.

"Maybe we shouldn't have done that. It set other houses on fire! We were only aiming for the annoying guy's house. Plus, it actually burned down!" One of the raised their voice.

"Shhh! As long as we aren't discovered, everything will be alright. Nobody knows that it'll be us!" Another one shushed the other, assuring them with a triumphant tone.

My eyesight darkened.

They did it? They set Grandpa's house on fire just to aim for me?

My mind clouded, and without thinking, I left my spot and charged right at them.

I don't remember what happened next.

Before I knew it, there were the bodies of the bullies lying in front of me, unconscious. I looked at my hands.

Covered with blood.

_To stop before blood stained my hands._

I'm sorry for disobeying, Grandpa.

I hope you passed away with a smile on your face.

I hope you died happy.

Thank you for your teachings, and your patience to coach me.

Most of all, I'm sorry.

It's my fault that you had to go. If it weren't for me, you would still be alive and breathing.

I'm sorry for existing, Grandpa.

It really should have been me in your place.

Sayonara, Grandpa.

I hope you enjoy your eternal dream.

* * *

_Call out for the toss, Ace._

_Please._

...

That coward.

How could he just give up?

Giving up was like no other, in my opinion.

How could I ever give up on the the sport that Grandpa loved so dearly?

It would be unacceptable.

What hurt most was that it felt like...

He was giving up on me.

That he can't believe in me anymore. In me, or Suga-san.

Did he think that I wasn't capable of supporting him from behind?

That he couldn't place all his trust on me saving the ball?

I held up the snapped broomstick, staring at it with melancholy eyes.

When could things go back to the way they were?

...

Those first years convinced Asahi come back. For real.

When his head peeked into the door of the gym, I just stood there, awed.

I was speechless.

They were seriously amazing.

If only I could've been like them.

My heart welled up with joy, almost exploding out of my chest. I smiled wide, I though that my face was going to fall off.

Some miracles just happen so unexpectedly, it takes a moment to realize that it actually happened.

I felt so happy that I thought I could just forget that anything had happened in the first place.

* * *

I was so relieved when Daichi-san told us the news.

It was too quiet here without Hinata.

It felt lonely to not have someone call you "Senpai!" all day long.

I hope he comes back soon!

And when he returns, I think I'll treat him with a ice cream, because I'm a senpai!

* * *

I'm so desperate for a miracle that I might just break down any minute.

* * *

**This one was surprisingly long, and that's an good/bad thing.**

**I really don't know.**

**I hope that this chapter wasn't too boring.**

**If it was, I'm sorry and I'll try to do better next time.**

**Best regards from withabluepen.**


	7. Blossom

**I would like to thank 27aquarrow72, stella-pon, and Erika Karisawa's Apprentice for following and ((If it is a word)) favoriting.**

**I know that in my story, almost all the members have dark pasts.**

**I mean, in reality it isn't as common. More like in our society right now, if you gather nine people, not each one of them is definitely going to have some dark past to share.**

**But, there really isn't a point in this story without them.**

**So...**

**If you don't like the "unnaturalness" of this story, you may stop reading if you wish.**

**BTW, if you're wondering why I brought this up, I honestly don't know. It wasn't influenced by anything, but I just felt like saying it.**

**You know... **

**Disclaimer: Hn. Don't own any characters.**

* * *

_~Kiyoko Shimizu~_

___Daddy_?

___Daddy_?

_Wake up please, Daddy._

_Were you trying to fly, __Daddy_?

_Was the roof a good place to try?_

_Maybe I should try too..._

_I want to learn how to fly!_

_..._

_Daddy?_

_Mama won't stop yelling at me._

_She says it's my fault._

_I told her that you just wanted to fly like a bird._

_Is it my fault that you wanted to fly?_

* * *

She killed herself.

My mother did.

She just couldn't hold on anymore.

Before her suicide, things were pretty rough. They always were.

Ever since father died.

She just couldn't stop drinking. Or taking drugs.

Her battered state everyday almost made me sorry for her.

Not.

Why would I feel sorry for such a person?

A person that abused me, and blamed me for something I didn't do.

I thought she was the one that made my father fall.

The moment was still clear in my head. I could remember every detail of it, every emotion I felt.

_"Kiyoko? Come here. Daddy's going to teach you how to fly."_

_"You mean like the birdies, Daddy?"_

_"Yes, like the birds."_

_"But how, Daddy? How do I fly?"_

_"Here. You stand at the edge of roof, and open your arms like this."_

_"Okay, Daddy!"_

_"Next, you tip your body over and fall straight down!"_

_"Wait! Daddy? How do I put my arms, again? Daddy, wait up! Don't go yet!"_

_"Bye bye, Kiyoko."_

_..._

_"Daddy?"_

_..._

I was confused at the time. First, the position of my arms. Second, how I was actually going to fly. Third, why he hadn't come up yet.

One of the neighbors spotted me just in time, and they grabbed me before I fell to my death.

Before they took me away, I took one innocent glance at the ground in front of the building of the roof.

It was small, but I could see a mess of a body and splattered blood, staining the sidewalk.

I was never the same again.

I feel ashamed and scared that when I saw the body of my father, I thought it was pretty that there was a red spot on the cement.

There was one thing that I never understood about my father.

Did he want me to die with him?

I thought he loved me though.

Why did he jump off the roof?

Financial problems? Problems at work?

My mother never told me.

I would never know.

...

After the news of my father's suicide reached my mother, she went insane.

Literately, insane.

She was screaming, yelling, throwing things, and mostly unleashing her hatred on me.

It's as if all the sanity in her just decided to fly away with my father.

Everyday, her hair was an unruly mess. Her eyes seemed to have an psychotic glint in it that frightened me to the very core. It was like she had lost all common sense.

She screamed unintelligible words.

She wrecked havoc throughout the house.

She threw beer bottles at me.

Some landed with a crash, and some buried into my skin.

...

I guess one day she just decided to let it go.

They said it was suicide.

I'm sure that they are accurate.

I really don't want to believe it though.

I wanted to call her a coward. For killing herself and trying to escape everything.

Looks like she wasn't strong enough to stay any longer.

...

The weather's gorgeous. There are birds chirping and bees collecting nectar. A small and soothing breeze tickled my skin, and bright sunlight that crept through the trees.

I just want to yell at the weather for being nice today.

I'm standing in front of her tombstone.

I don't want to cry.

But, I just feel like trash.

I couldn't even do anything.

I didn't bother to even help her.

I was just caught up in my own endless cycle of self-pity.

Not even glancing at who was really hurting. Not even realizing it.

What I terrible person I was.

Did I even have anyone to love anymore?

My mother was the only one left.

But I let her go.

I can't forgive myself now.

...

_I remember tears streaming down your face when I said I'll never you go._

* * *

I decided to visit the hospital that day.

I walked to where Hinata's room was.

But, he wasn't there.

I returned to the reception desk.

"Could I ask which room Hinata Shouyou is currently resided in?"

The lady stared at her computer, typing and clicking.

"He's in the emergency room. I advise that you do not interrupt the surgery, for his life is at stake."

Hinata? Emergency room?

"But wasn't his condition stable?"

The lady shook her head. "I'm sorry, I don't know the details. It's hard to keep track of everyone here."

"Where's the emergency room?" I asked, urgency clearly evident in my voice.

"Down the hall, take two rights and you'll be there."

I walked as fast as I could, before giving up on speed-walking and just started to run.

When I finally reached the emergency room, I peered into the room from the window.

Hinata was lying there, with a bunch of tubes connected to him and multiple doctors in white jackets surrounding him.

He turned his head and noticed me, and grinned, flashing me a peace sign.

I smiled slightly and flashed it back. His face turned a little red and I giggled.

It looks like he was going to be fine.

He'll definitely be able to pull through.

* * *

I just assumed that everything would be fine. For sure.

How foolish of me.

* * *

**I swear, I don't think that my dialogue is legit, but yeah...**

**Just a side note, somewhere in the beginning-middle (I dunno XD) there is a sentence in italics. That is a line from Taylor Swift's song, Safe and Sound.**

**If you actually spent a little bit of your precious life to read this, I thank you.**

**Hopefully, you thought it was worth it.**

**Best wishes from withabluepen.**


	8. Ace

**I should probably be writing this on the last chapter, but yeah...**

**So, I'm most likely going to be rewriting some of the earlier chapters. If you finish reading the story, maybe wait a while and read it again, I dunno.**

**Since right now some of my chapters just... suck.**

**So yeah. Maybe some of you guys can look forward to it.**

**I feel like I get conceited too much...**

***covers face with hands***

**I'm sorry, guys.**

**Thank you Music Pencils for reviewing, and Fiana Ocrisielt for following and favoriting. **

**Disclaimer: They don't belong to me.**

* * *

_~Asahi Azumane~_

"Wow, he must have been held back."

_I'm pretty sure that I'm in the correct age range for my grade..._

"Is he a delinquent or what?"

_I've never hurt someone before!_

"Look away. He's probably a bad influence."

_What did I ever do?_

_..._

I'm really sick of people misunderstanding me.

I really hate it.

What do they know?

Just because I look more mature for my age and have a somewhat scary face?

Why must people judge?

_"Azumane, a man must only judge a person by the heart."_

Father, if that's true, why am I being treated like this?

Why won't anyone just listen to me?

I try to explain to them, but they ignore me out of fear. They think I'm threatening them.

I didn't ask to be this way, so why must people judge me for something I can't control?

If someone's ugly, why judge them for that?

They didn't ask for the face. It wasn't in their control.

So why are people so unfair to them? Treating them like trash and scum?

If someone's rotten on the inside, then they're the ones that must be judged even if they are beautiful.

A person's personality can be changed, but physical aspects will always stay the same.

I'm sick of the stares and whispers. I'm sick of the misconceptions.

Will it ever stop?

...

_I didn't like how my house could only be reached if I walked through a couple of alleys. Alleys made me nervous since there were dark and bad people hanged out there._

_It was a day just like any normal day. Making my way home from school after a day of harsh education. _

_I lifted my head up to stare at the sky. It seems like there's going to be a storm soon._

_Hurriedly, I walked through the first alleyway._

_Just when I was about to go through the second one, I heard muttering and smelled cigarette smoke._

_I pressed myself against the wall and peeked into the alleyway._

_Hostile eyes greeted me with a smirk. There were several, at least seven, people gathered in the alleyway. Some where crouched on the ground, playing cards while others were standing and counting money, drinking, or smoking._

_"Whatcha' lookin' at?" A man wearing a sleeveless shirt that exposed the tattoos on his arms asked me. He had an intimidating aura that made me a bit nervous and wary._

_"U-um, n-nothing." I replied, having a feeling of anxiety. How was I supposed to get past them to get to my house?_

_"Hey boss, it looks like this guy's lookin' for a fight, don't cha' think?" One of the guys that was kneeling spoke, standing up._

_"I think he is. Why don't we teach him a lesson, eh?" A man in the back took out his cigarette, throwing it on to the ground and crushing it with his foot._

_"I-I'm n-not!" I panicked. What should I do? These guys look like they want to kill me!_

_I turned my back on them and ran for my life._

_Luckily, it seemed that those people were new to the place and couldn't keep up with someone who had been navigating through these alleys for most of his life. I ran back out from the first alley and took another route home._

_By the time I got home, I was already out of breath. I knocked on the door, trying to catch my breath. My mother greeted me and asked me why I looked so exhausted. _

_I smiled at her and told her not to worry about it. She looked at me with skeptical eyes but didn't say anything._

_..._

It was a bad idea not to tell her.

I never thought that it would turn out to this.

...

_Sunday afternoon. Listening to music and reading._

_I suddenly hear rapid footsteps coming up the stairs. I take my earphones off and see my mother looking around with frantic eyes._

_"Mom? Is there something wrong?"_

_"Shh! Asahi, get in the attic right now!" She ordered, eyes wide._

_"Why? Mom, are you okay?"_

_"Just go already! Don't come down unless I tell you to!" She pushed me to where the attic entrance was. She grabbed the handle and pulled down, revealing a set of stairs. I walked up, and was greeted by dust and darkness. Mom pushed up the stairs and left me by myself._

_I sat there, confused. Why was my mother in such a rush?_

_I waited._

_And waited._

_And waited._

_But my mother never came to get me._

_Dad was out in the market, and probably should be home soon._

_I'm tired of waiting. It's warm up here, and comforting._

_Hn..._

_..._

_I blinked. Did I fall asleep?_

_I pushed the door down and walked down the staircase hesitantly._

_Complete silence was eerie._

_"Mom?" I called. No reply._

_I slowly made my way down the the kitchen._

_The sight that waited there for me stopped my breath and made a feeling of horror raise up my throat._

_Broken glass littered all over the floor, surrounding the motionless body of my mother._

_She had no clothes on, and a pained expression of her face._

_Don't tell me..._

_It was those people from the alleyway?_

_Those bastards... doing something like this to my mother._

_How could they? Just because it looked like I wanted to fight with them when I clearly didn't?_

_Why would they even bother to go this far? Was murder really necessary to solve this problem?_

_I called the police immediately, my fingers trembling as I dialed the three numbers._

_..._

_"That boy probably did it himself."_

_"Ah, what a bore. Do I seriously have to deal with this?"_

_"Are you sure that you aren't lying?"_

_What were they talking about?! Of course I'm being truthful!_

_Aren't the police supposed to be nice, helpful people?_

_So why are there distasteful faces directed towards me? Like I did something wrong?_

_Is it because of my face again?_

_You know what?_

_I'm tired of this world. I'm weary and worn-down._

_The frustration piling up in me just wants everybody to go away. To cease from existence. _

_I'm so furious that tears are being forced out._

_Is there any use in crying? All it does is just make the floor wet and make you look like a coward._

_But that's really all I can do. Crying helplessly._

_I laugh at my own uselessness._

_If I were braver, more courageous, I would have the guts to find those guys and beat them up._

_But, I'm just afraid of getting hurt._

_What a horrible person I am. Selfish to the point where I won't even take revenge for my loved ones._

_Do I even deserve to live?_

_..._

_Was there a reason to live when there was nobody that could understand you?_

_My father died in a car crash when he was out._

_I must have really bad luck._

_What the heck?_

_Now the only two people that understood me were gone._

_Just like that. Faster than the blink of an eye._

_Was there really anything to hold on to anymore?_

_Can everybody just disappear already?_

_Can I disappear?_

* * *

A huge wall stands between me and victory.

I want to break the wall, to demolish it.

But, I can't.

I cower under the pressure of a challenge.

I have trustworthy teammates supporting my back, but...

My heart is reluctant to continue.

But, am I just going to stop here? After we've gotten this far?

Is a wall seriously going to stand in my way of gaining victory?

No!

I can't just give up! I can't just be like how I was before!

I will change.

...

The dull thud of the spike hitting the hand has become repetitive.

_Thud._

_Thud._

_Thud._

My arms are sagging. My legs are giving way.

Is it really possible to win at this point?

The spark of fighting spirit has left my eyes.

Was all the effort we put in worthless?

Was it really just a waste?

If I hadn't been weak-willed in the beginning of the game, we might have won.

Old habits die hard, don't they?

* * *

Kiyoko-san informed us of the sudden change in location for where Hinata would be staying.

I raised by brow, confused.

Wasn't it just a light pneumonia?

Why did he get transferred?

Unless something happened?...

* * *

I didn't expect it to turn out to be like this.

* * *

**O.O **

**I feel like my chapters are getting longer...**

**I think that I shouldn't make any people die for Tanaka since the dying business is getting overused.**

**I'll try to think of something good for Tanaka.**

**Best wishes from withabluepen.**


	9. Reckless and Rash

**I feel like my last chapter was really boring...**

**Ah well... this one probably be more boring.**

**BTW, I feel like this chapter will talk about a sensitive subject that seems to be a bit more realistic than the previous chapters. So, if there was anything that seemed to be too critical to the point where it was offensive, please point it out and I will try my best to change it to your favor.**

**Thank you Nakamura Arashi and ****Fiana Ocrisielt** **for reviewing and Arlandi for following and favoriting.**

**Disclaimer: Haikyu doesn't belong to me.**

* * *

_~Tanaka Ryuunosuke~_

Throughout your whole life, there will a couple of people that will always be around you.

Or, at least for the majority of your lifespan.

Naturally, you will treasure these few people.

After all, they are the ones that have taken care of you and loved you.

Now, think about it.

Such precious people.

If, one by one, they slipped away from you, how would you feel?

Broken? Betrayed? Lonely?

Will droplets of liquefied sorrow trickle down your cheek?

Will you raise your head and gaze that the clouds, asking why such misfortune has been brought to you?

Will you blame those loved ones for leaving?

What would you do?

_..._

_"Kaa-chan?" Tora, my older brother, asked._

This is where it began.

Where everything started to fall apart.

_"Yes? Tora, what is it?" My mother asked, her eyes focused on her cooking._

_Tora fiddled with his fingers, looking hesitant. He bit his lower lip, an anxious expression depicted on his features._

_"I-I..." His voice shoke._

_My mother turned around, concerned. "Tora, if you have something to say, say it please."_

_"K-Kaa-chan, I-I'm g-gay..." Tora said in a small voice._

_"Sorry, Tora. I can't hear you very well. Can you repeat what you said please?" My mother put her hand to her ear, motioning him to repeat what he said again._

_"Kaa-chan." He looked at her seriously._

_"Good, I can hear you now. Continue?"_

_"I'm gay." Tora spoke clearly and loudly._

_My mother was silent for a moment. Then she replied, expressionless._

_"I'm glad that you're happy, Tora. But why tell me that you're happy so randomly?"_

_"No, Kaa-chan! I-I mean... I like s-someone of the same gender."_

_She paused._

_"Kaa-chan! Listen, I know you don't like homosexuals, but-"_

_"Tora? Have you gone mad?" She turned around slowly, her expression deathly calm, like a bomb that would go off any second. "Do you remember the talks that your father and I had with you?"_

_"Y-yes, Kaa-chan..."_

_She put down everything that she holding and shook her head. "I can't believe this..."_

_"Kaa-"_

_"Leave, Tora, leave. I don't want to hear your voice right now."_

My mother and father were against people that were homosexual.

I don't know why, but that was what they believed in.

When Tora announced that he was part of a group of people that they despised, my mother and my father both flipped.

_"You disgrace to our family!"_

_"Why didn't you listen to us?! It's all your fault!"_

_"Weren't you supposed to carry on our legacy?"_

_"I don't want you in my sight ever again."_

Tora left with his boyfriend after he was fed up with my mother and father.

I was so helpless. All I did was watch this all unfold.

I gripped on to Tora's hand, not wanting him to go.

_"Nii-chan, please don't go! Don't leave me..."_

But, he just smiled that sad smile and left go of me.

I cried after him. I begged for him to come back. But he never turned back to wave goodbye. He didn't even glance behind his shoulder.

Damn it.

...

After Tora left, fights broke out between mother and father.

_"Look what you have done! It's because of you that he left!"_

_"What?! How is it my fault?! It's your fault for not being able to teach him correctly!"_

Everyday. Continuously.

This is so stupid. Why don't they just accept the fact that brother's gay and live with it?

Why must they fight over such a petty thing?

It's just so ridiculous.

_"Mom? Dad? Will you both just shut up already? You're both acting like children!"_

My sister tried to make the fighting cease, but, the opposite happened.

_"Who do you think you are, telling your parents to be quiet?! We raised you and fed you and spent money on you! You should be grateful!"_

_"You yourself are a child, yet you tell us that we're acting like children? You don't know what you're talking about!"_

One day, it really did all fall apart.

_"You know what? Let's just end this already."_

_"Fine. I'm sick of you anyways."_

Divorce.

Arguments about who should take who.

Nee-chan was already at the legal age to live alone, so she said that she would take me and raise me by herself.

They were furious.

But, I wanted to go with Nee-chan.

I needed to escape the hell that I thought was heaven.

I used to feel safe coming home. I used to feel that home actually felt like "home".

But, now, I don't recognize this place anymore. Was this really the place I lived in for my whole life?

It seems like a battlefield now. No where to hide. No where to stay safe.

This is war.

This is chaos and disorder.

I'm sorry.

You are no longer the place that I wish to return to, ever again.

In fact, I want to go far, far away.

Just take me away already.

I can't stand it anymore.

Just stop already.

* * *

I wanted to stop being a kid and start acting like a man.

It started with volleyball.

My playing style was simple, reckless, and tough.

Just hit the ball with all you've got. Don't hesitate. Don't waver.

If it's fight, I'm going to charge right into the middle of it without any thought.

Because, if I don't think, I won't be afraid.

Throw everything you got at me!

I'm ready anytime.

It's about time I stood up straight and proud.

It's about time I face the challenge head-on.

* * *

I stomped my feet into the hospital, a bit grumpy.

I've never liked hospitals that much. They smelled like medicine and bad stuff.

I leaned against the desk, asking the lady where Hinata was.

She gave me a look that I had seen many times before before she replied.

"Emergency room." She stated curtly.

"Thanks." I headed off without knowing where it was. Well, I already knew that he was in the emergency room from Kiyoko-san, so I don't know why I asked the lady too.

Meh, whatever.

I wandered around before stumbling upon what I was looking for.

I plopped down on one of the seats and waited for a doctor to come out of the room.

After what seemed like forever, someone finally came out.

"Oi! Doc! How's Hinata?" I asked eagerly.

The doctor turned to me, a look of pity and despondency.

I knew something was wrong there.

"Hey, speak up! What happened?" Apprehension built up inside by stomach.

The doctor finally opened up his mouth. "Alright. But please, stay calm as I inform you about his condition."

I nodded obediently, knowing that I wouldn't be able to stay calm after the news.

"It's leukemia. Most likely inherited, but definitely profusion of blood cells. It's already been confirmed."

What? It can't be...

I know that I'm stupid, but I know this little bit.

Doesn't cancer usually mean... death?

The side of me that wants to give up is creeping up through me again.

I fought it back, knowing that it would do Hinata no good.

"May I see him, Doc?" I inquired, even though I wouldn't take no for an answer.

"You may."

I ran right past the doctor and into the room.

I was greeted by a sight I thought I would never see in my lifetime.

The once cheery and happy kouhai I knew was know this sullen, pale, and fragile boy that was sitting on the pure white hospital bed.

He turned his head and twitched his lips, forming a weak smile. "H-hey, Tanaka-senpai."

I immediately rushed to his side. "Hinata... What happened to you?"

"Everything, Tanaka-senpai. Everything." He stated exasperatedly, throwing his head back in a fit of sudden laughter.

"What the heck? First the Championship, now this? I've been so unlucky these days." He turns to me, his face deadly calm.

But his eyes are in a frenzy.

He can't seem to control himself anymore.

But, who wouldn't? After losing an important game and getting news that you were diagnosed with a terminal illness?

If it were me, I think I would've gone insane.

"Hinata, it's going to be fine." I tried to calm him.

He looks at me with quizzical eyes. "Losing a game and soon, my life. And everything's GOING TO BE FINE?!" He shouted the last part, tears escaping his eyes.

He looked so helpless, so lost. A cruel fate had been brought upon him.

I moved over and wrapped my arms around him, letting him cry in my chest. I patted and stroked his orange hair, trying to comfort him.

"Senpai's here for you, Hinata. No need to be afraid." I made my words soothing and laced them with gentleness.

"Ugh... Why d-does it have to be m-me? I-I wanted to be the ace, b-but n-now there's no ch-chance that my d-dream will come t-true."

He looked at me with eyes that couldn't be expressed with merely words.

"What am I going to do now? Tell me, Tanaka-senpai. Is there any reason for me to be living on this world right now? Can't I just... die already?"

I was silent for a while before I responded.

"Hinata, I'm going to tell you a story. I don't care if you want to listen or not. Just listen anyways." I took a breath before continuing.

"Once upon a time, there lived a man who was very unfortunate. He was ugly, useless, and sick. His neighbors always wondered why he hadn't died already. Well, what they didn't know was that the man had resolve. The source of his resolve came from the princess of his country, Hoseki-hime. The unfortunate man was deeply in love with Hoseki-hime ever since she kindly helped him up when he fell down on the streets. The man vowed that he would do anything for her."

I exhaled, before returning to the story.

"One day, news reached him that the princess had been kidnapped by some bandits. The king asked that every healthy male of the country to stop their daily duties to search and save the princess. He promised that whoever could rescue the Hoseki-hime would earn her hand in marriage. The man immediately got up from his bed and, despite his sickly condition, went on a dangerous journey to find the princess."

"He encountered many hardships and nearly lost his life several times. But, he stubbornly continued to look for the princess. On a very fateful day, he actually managed to find the bandits' hideout and where the princess was being held captive. When he finally found the princess, she was just about to be killed by the head bandit. He, without any hesitation, jumped right in front of her and exchanged his life for hers. Although he was killed cold-blooded, the man smiled as he walked into the welcoming arms of death."

"He had done and endured what he needed to do and endure. He was competent. The unfortunate man died in the Hoseki-hime's lap with a smile on his face, for he had saved the love of his life. The princess somehow managed to escape the hideout and run back to the palace, the body of the unfortunate man in her arms. When she arrived, she held a ceremony and blessed the unfortunate man with riches and luck in his next life."

"And as for the unfortunate man, his smile always remained forever in the hearts of his people."

"The end."

"Wahhh..."

I raised my eyebrows. Was Hinata... crying?

"T-Tanaka-senpai! I-I n-never k-knew that y-you c-could t-tell s-such a s-story!" Tears tained endlessly down his cheeks.

He looked at me seriously. "That man must have been very deeply in love to sacrifice himself for her."

"Yes, he was." I answered solemnly. "So, Hinata. Find a resolve that will give you strength to live. Keep hope that you will live on. Even if you don't, you'll be happy you fought the battle. Think of it as a reward for your hard work."

Hinata nodded, slowly digesting my words.

"But still, that was an amazing story!" He beamed at me.

I puffed up my chest. "Well, I am a senpai! C'mon, call me Tanaka-senpai!"

"Tanaka-senpai!"

"Again!"

"Tanaka-senpai!"

"Ahahahaha!"

A smile had graced Hinata's features once more. I grinned, proud of my accomplishment.

That's right, Hinata. A frown doesn't suit you as well as a smile.

Thank goodness you're laughing again.

* * *

I knew it was going to hurt, but this was harder than expected.

* * *

**Whew! That one was long!**

**Especially for the story part. For your information, I made it all up, since I just felt the need to have some story time.**

**Hope you liked it!**

**Oh yeah, I apologize for the explicit language in here. I've been wanting to put in swears, but I think it would be best for just Tanaka to have bad language. For the safety of this fanfiction, I changed the rating to T.**

**Don't worry, there are more chapters after this since I can't just end it here.**

**XD**

**Best wishes from withabluepen.**


	10. Strongest Decoy

**I'm glad that many people enjoyed the last chapter.**

**I swear I can't really figure out the new people that reviewed, favorited, or followed, so I'm sorry if I don't mention you in later chapters. Even so, thank you very much. **

**:)**

**And again, I'm really sorry.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Haikyu.**

* * *

_~Hinata Shouyou~_

My eyes fluttered open, trying to adjust to the brightness of the room. I wiggled my fingers, trying to get them to loosen up. With a little effort, I pushed myself up into a sitting position, my back leaning against the bedpost.

I cupped my mouth with my hand as I let out a small yawn.

There was a small knock on the door.

"Come in." I said quietly.

A woman and a little girl rushed into the room, running to my side. I smiled softly, recognizing them.

"Hi Kaa-chan, Nat-chan."

"Shou-chan! I was so worried about you!" My mother gasped, gripping onto my hand tightly, like I was going to float away if she didn't hold on. "Are you feeling okay? Have you been eating fine? Do you feel any pain? Is there anything that you need?" She rambled.

I chuckled. My mother had a bad habit of getting overly agitated when she was anxious.

She stroked my hand, keeping her concerned gaze on me.

Her hair was a mess, like she stopped everything she was doing and ran to the hospital. She shook her head with dismay.

"Why must this happen to you, dear child? So young, yet to be suffering so much..." She sighed, gripping my hand even tighter.

"Kaa-chan, I think you've stopped the blood circulation on my hand."

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" She quickly let go.

The corners of her eyes welled up with emotion, and she pulled me into a sudden hug.

"Kaa-chan..."

She squeezed my body, putting pressure on my chest.

"I can't believe this is happening again." She let go, her lips pulled up into a small smile.

"What do you mean by that?"

She hesitated, and I immediately knew that I was leading to a touchy subject.

"I-It's alright if it's too-"

"No, I think you have the right to know. Either way, it's in the past." She brushed a strand of hair and hooked it behind her ear.

"You're grandmother, which in this case, my mother, died of the exact condition you're in right now." She dipped her head, not looking at me.

Something inside of me seemed to freeze.

_Does this mean I'm going to die, just like the grandma that I've never met before?"_

"Shou-chan, are you okay?" My mother raised her head, inquiring.

A sudden ball of fire ignited inside my chest, and a part of my frustration just decided to explode.

"With the fact that I'm going to die soon, sure I'm okay. It's not like you understand anyway."

"Shou-"

"Just shut up, alright? Who the heck is alright after they know that?! You're not in my position, of course you wouldn't get it and ask superficial questions like 'Are you okay?' or something like that! At least try to understand what I'm going through right now!"

My mother went silent, and I know I had spoken too much.

"I-I'm sorry, Kaa-chan. I-"

"No, Shou-chan. It's fine. I should've understood what you've been going through. It's my fault for being inconsiderate."

I scrunched up my face, on the brink of tears.

"Nat-chan, go outside and wait, alright? Be a good girl."

Natsu was indignant. "But I wanna stay here!"

"Go outside, please, Nat-chan." My mother ordered. Natsu succumbed to her authoritative tone, and obediently exited out the door.

After Natus left, my mother pulled me into another embrace, resting her head on my shoulder.

"Let it all out, Shouyou. I'm here for you, remember that."

I was having trouble holding it in anyway.

I sobbed in my mom's arms, tears running down my face.

"Kaa-chan, I-I'm scared."

"I know you are. Don't be afraid, mom is right here."

Her warmth soothed me, subduing my panic.

"I-I don't want to die."

"I don't want you to either."

"But, it's inevitable, isn't it?"

My mother said nothing, and I could feel my shoulder getting a bit wet.

I glanced at the clock, realizing that it was getting late.

"Kaa-chan, you should probably leave now. It's getting late."

She reluctantly unwrapped her hands, still concerned.

"Are you sure you'll be okay without me? What if you feel uncomfortable? What if you get hungry? What if you-"

"It's alright Kaa-chan, I'm not a little kid anymore." I said humorously.

She gave me one last glance. "Are you sure?"

I sighed, throwing my hands up. "I'm fine, Kaa-chan."

"Alright then."

She opened the door to leave.

"Nat-chan, say goodbye to your brother!"

Natsu ran into my room.

"Bye bye, Nii-chan!" She waved her hands at me. I pinched her cheeks, laughing at how cute she was when she pouted.

Right before she left the room, she turned her head to look at me.

"Nii-chan? Promise you won't leave me, okay?"

She ran back and stuck out her pinky. "Pinky swear?"

I stuck my pinky, linking it with hers. "Pinky swear."

"Pinky swear, pinky swear. May you break a promise, to eat a thousand needles." She chanted, before letting go.

"Nat-chan, it's time to go! Let your brother rest, alright?" Mother's voice traveled from the waiting room.

"Coming!" Natsu called back.

I gave her a small wave as she left.

* * *

_I stand at the intersection of two paths. One is dark, while the other is bright._

_My eyes slowly follow down the paths, and I frown as my eyes reach the end._

_Both ends are dark._

_Why?_

_Before I could choose a path, the ground beneath me suddenly collapsed, and I was falling._

I woke up with a start, the sensation of falling still evident.

_What was that all about?_

What I wouldn't realize is how much that dream made sense.

How much it pounded on the terrible truth.

* * *

A good person never breaks their promises.

* * *

**I'm so sorry this chapter is so crappy and ugh...**

**Kinda didn't know what I should write.**

**This is a bit of a filler, but I wanted a chapter with Hinata's POV.**

**Also, Hinata is so OOC.**

**XD**

**Hope you guys all had a good summer!**

**Best wishes from withabluepen.**


End file.
